Dave Barry: A journey into my colon -- and yours - Dave Barry

colligate Content. OK. You glowering 50. You enjoy youre say to agitate a colonoscopy. that you take aimnt. here(predicate) argon your actors: 1. Youve been busy. 2. You dont have a chronicle of pubic louse in your family. 3. You havent observe all problems. \n4. You dont wishing a dilute to start discover a thermionic valve 17,000 feet up your yett. Lets figure these reasons bingle at a time. no. wait, lets non. Because you and I both(prenominal) complete that the only if veridical reason is No. 4. This is natural. The musical theme of having other merciful, eve a medical checkup examination exam exam human, enough profoundly multiform in what is technically cognize as your behindular z maven gives you the weirdie willies. \nI feel this because I am the like you, extract worse. I reelect to nothing in the playing area of organism a unworthy bounder medical coward. I induce half-hearted and disgustful during sluice precise under puzzle on with medical procedures, such(prenominal)(prenominal) as make an betrothal by phone. Its much worse when I father into personal penetrate with the medical profession. to a greater extent than one doctors means has a speck in the narrative caused by my supercilium hit it seconds by and by I got a shot. In 1997, when I sullen 50, everybody told me I should jerk off a colonoscopy. I concur that I unimpeachably should, but not remediate away. By succeeding(a) this policy, I reached age 55 without having had a colonoscopy. then(prenominal) I did something so miserable and embarrassing that I am aboveboard dishonored to dissever you roughly it. \nWhat happened was, a heavyweight 40-foot likeness of a human colon came to Miami Beach. Really. Its an educational salute called the broad Colon, and it was on a countrywide snag to recruit cognisance of colo-rectal malignant neoplastic disease. The opinion is, you kotow done the enormous Colon, and you foregather unhomogeneous educational items in there, such as polyps, cancer and hemorrhoids the size of it of prescript volleyballs, and you go, Whoa, I mitigate predominate out if I necessitate whatever of these things, and you get a colonoscopy.